OK, OK, Fine

"He doesn't flinch when I touch him, and I like that."

So you're right. I sit and I write this blog, all high and mighty on my hurt and my condemnation, but when I fuck up I expect it to be understood. I'm a good person, but I make mistakes. The situation, the circumstances need to be taken into account. I didn't mean it.

It's not that I don't hold that true for other people as well. God, I've held it far too true in the past (and what a cock-up that was), but I've found that it's easier to analyze the lives of others than it is your own.

It's not a matter of right or wrong. If it's universal justice I'm looking for, then what about all the pain and suffering they went through before me. What about all the pain I've caused? If circumstances need to be considered before judging my bad behavior, then they should be for theirs as well. I am no better than anybody else.

W, you did not want me, but you thought that you should, and you tried. That I take issue with the way that worked out is reasonable, but I can't use it as a condemnation. You were hurting from your own recent loss and whether or not that had anything to do with how you felt for me, it was a part of you while we were together and I understand.

Mimi, I will never really understand you, and never, especially, the way you treated me. You were often not very nice. You were dishonest, selfish and unkind and I don't believe that to be a temporary state. I think it's who you are, but you've your wounds to cover too. At a certain point I realized that I had to stop using that as an excuse for letting you treat me poorly and tell you goodbye. I didn't need to let it be an excuse to call you "my crazy ex-girlfriend" all the time. No more.

I don't need to love you , but neither do I need to disrespect you-- either of you. I am sorry. Thank you for the things that you did that were good. Be well.