Macro.

When I was a child, I didn't know how to get much of anyplace beyong my neighborhood. I suppose I paid some attention to where my parents took me in their cars, because when it came time for me to go there on my own, I knew the way, but it didn't concern me much. The big roads that led far away were of less interest than the little ones, unexplored, that led into the woods, along streams and drainage ways and over the rooftops and alleys of the buildings in the landing below my neighborhood. This was my world.

I know now which road leads to the highway, how to get to work, to Mexico, to Los Angeles and Las Vegas. I can find the airport easy enough and once there, I can take you down pretty much any main thoroughfare in New York, some in Boston and probably a few in London or Paris. I've been much further than the old patch of trees we called "the woods" down the off Bellvue where we fought with the boys who lived closer for posession of the trees, the hideouts and streams and secret paths. I remember the different ways in, the dead end streets, and broken fences, the field at the end of Prescott Lane, where i lived, with the flat, mysterious bolder like a table at its center and abramble of blackbery bushes on one edge, next to a plant that grew and tasted like rubarb, but wasn't. I knew those places, and not much of the world outside them, and while I know a bit more of that now, I've really no idea what lies a few blocks around the corner from my house. I'm in my car and I'm off, or even on foot, I'm only off as far as the main drag, to shop or to the cafe for breakfast. I couldn't tell you what the houses look like on the next street over, who has a garden and who doesn't. As far as I can tell, there are no woods, except for the ones in the canyon a mile or so from here, but that's an official city park, with a sign and everything. There's nothing about it that feels unexplored.

I wonder if the broader knowledge I've gained has simply pushed out the detailed and familiar. Am I incapable of holding both in this place? It seems I knew a great deal more when I lived in the city, but then I lived on Amerstadam and could not for the life of me tell you what was one avenue block away on Columbus. Maybe this is OK-- to not know the intimate details of a neighborhood with the trespass I had as a child-- but maybe I need to walk more and have less aim.